A Royal Wedding
by Yatzstar
Summary: Princess Luna and her friends are invited to help prepare a wedding at Princess Faust's request. But something is wrong with the bride, and Luna seems to be the only one noticing it! A Canterlot Wedding redone. Please note that this story is for entertainment only, and I don't own MLP, nor am I associated with it in any way, side from being a devoted brony.
1. Chapter 1

"Isn't it gorgeous out? Just gorgeous!"

A brown-gray pony exclaimed. Her name was Octavia. She, along with four other ponies, sat on a red-and-white checkered picnic blanket, with a nice lunch spread out before them. Another pony—a dark blue alicorn with an ever-flowing mane—levitated a picnic basket to the center of the blanket using her horn-spawned magic. It was a beautiful day, with only a few puffy white clouds in the crisp blue sky.

Hoofbeats thundered along, heading straight for the five ponies.

Another pony—a yellow earth pony with a bright orange mane named Carrot Top—drank from a glass of water with a straw.

The hoofbeats came closer.

The alicorn—her name was Princess Luna—or just Lune—brought an apple out of the basket. She was about to take a huge bite out of it, but dropped it at the sound of approaching hoofbeats.

"Lu—na!" The pony dashed up, breathing heavily. It was a lithe, sinewy pegasus mare with yellow fur and a spiky orange mane. Her name was Spitfire. She skidded to a halt in front of Luna.

"I—have—let me just—" She gasped, trying to catch her breath. Then she belched, spitting out a column of orange flames, and a sealed scroll. Luna levitated the message and unrolled it. A mint-green unicorn named Lyra looked over her shoulder as she read aloud.

"Dear Luna, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot."

The alicorn frowned. "Wedding?" Then she continued.

"I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help prepare for this wonderful occasion.

"Lyra, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music."

Lyra's eyes glittered. "Oh my goodness, what an honor!" She said to Octavia.

"Vinyl Scratch, I can think of nopony better to host the reception." Luna continued. A white unicorn with a spiky blue-striped mane and sunglasses did a backflip, knocking over a teapot and leaving a hoofprint in the icing of a small cake to land in front of the alicorn.

"Hooray!" She yelled. Luna used her magic to smooth the icing of the cake and set the teapot right-side up as she continued.

"Carrot Top, you will be in charge of catering the reception."

"Well color me pleased as punch!" Exclaimed Carrot Top in her country accent.

"Spitfire," Continued Luna. The pegasus was sitting next to Carrot Top looking quite bored. "I would very much appreciate if you would perform a Sonic Flameboom as the bride and groom complete their 'I do's'"

Spitefire, who had been in the middle of a yawn, put her hoof in her mouth and her pupils dilated.

"YES!" She yelled.

"Octavia," Luna went on, "You will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids.

Octavia's mouth fell open.

"Princess Faust wants me to ha—ha—" Her pupils dilated, losing the ability to speak as happiness washed over her. "She wants me to design a wedding dress—for a Canterlot wedding—?!" She yelped. Lyra leaned toward her friend as Octavia wobbled, delirious with glee. The unicorn tried to steady her, but Octavia fell flat on her back, a huge grin plastered on her face.

"And as for you, Luna," The Princess went on, "You will be playing the most important role of all. Making sure that everything goes as planned. See you all soon, yours, Princess L. Faust."

The alicorn turned the paper around to see if anything was on the back, and skimmed the contents again.

"But, I don't understand." She said, frowning. "Who's getting married?"

Spitfire perked up, and drew another scroll from her wing feathers. "Whoops, I was probably supposed to give you this one first," She said sheepishly. Luna sighed and took the parchment. She unrolled it, her friends gathering around as she read.

"Princess Faust cordially invites you to the wedding of Ditzy Haz Pezuñas and—"

Luna's mouth fell open, and her pupils dilated to tiny dots as she finished,

"_Doctor Whooves?_"


	2. Chapter 2

"Princess Faust cordially invites you to the wedding of Ditzy Haz Pezuñas and—"

Luna's mouth fell open, and her pupils dilated to tiny dots as she finished,

"_Doctor Whooves?_"

Luna stood paralyzed, her mouth hanging open. Carrot Top came up and shook her hoof heartily.

"You're best friend's gettin' married! Congratulations, Luna! That's great news!"

Luna rolled her eyes, rolling up the parchment and tossing it aside.

"Yeah," She said sarcasticlly. "Great news, that I just got from a wedding invitation, not from my best friend, but from a piece of paper!" She gestured with one hoof towards the distant Canterlot, built into the sheer cliff face of the moutain. "Thanks a lot, Doctor Whooves.I mean really, he couldn't tell me personally?!"

The alicorn levitated a sándwich that had two toothpicks with a slice of tomato impaled on each of them. She floated it next to her, flapping the top crust of bread up and down lie a mouth, waving her hoof as she imitated the Doctor's accent.

"'Hey, Luna, just thought you should know that I made a really big decision that changes everything. Oh never mind, you'll hear about it when you get the invitation!"

Her friends lanced at each other, unsure of what to do.

"_Ditzy Haz Pezuñas_," Luna said, fluttering her eyelashes and bringing her front hoves up to her chin in an imitation of the bride.

"Who in the hoof is that?!" She yelled, going back down on all fours and breathing heavily in a most un-princess-like way.

"Um, Luna," Said Lyra, "Are you okay?"

Luna sighed. "Sorry, it's just that Doctor Whooves and I have always been so close. He and his fillyfriend were the only two ponies in all of Canterlot that accepted me after I was freed from the moon. Well, except for my sister, but she doesn't count. They were my only friends, until I came to Ponyville and met you guys. The Doctor was like a brother to me! He's my B.B.B.F.F!"

Her friends stared at her blankly. Luna rolled her eyes.

"Big Brother Best Friend Forever!" She explained.

"Oh!" Said the ponies.

Luna stared off into the distance at the towers of the Canterlot Castle. A tear formed on her cheek. Carrot Top came up beside her, and gestured toward the other ponies.

"As one of your P. ," She said. Luna stared at her blankly.

"Pony Friends Forever," The earth pony said.

"Oh," mumbled Luna.

"I wanna tell you that your best friend sounds like a real good guy!"

"He is pretty special," Said Luna, settling down on the blanket of the forgotten picnic. "I mean, they don't just let anypony be captain of the Royal Guard."

Octavia perked up.

"So let me get this straight," She said, leaning toward the alicorn.

"We're helping out with the wedding of a captain of the Royal Guard?!" A huge grin appeared on her face.

"Yeah," Luna mumbled, "I guess we are."

The earth pony began to sway back and forth, but Luna hovered a pillow out of nowhere to place under Octavia's head as she collapsed for the second time. Luna's friends began chatting about the wedding, and planning what they were going to do, as Luna sat miserably in the middle of it all.

The next day, the six ponies were on the train, heading for Canterlot. Spitfire stuck her head out the window as the train rumbled along.

"A Sonic Flameboom," She repeated for the millionth time. "At a wedding?! Can you say 'best wedding EVER!'"

Vinyl Scratch poked her head out of the window just ahead of Spitfire.

"BEST WEDDING EVER!" She yelled as the train entered the series of tunnels required to go up the mountain to the capital of Equestria.

Luna leaned against the window sill on the opposite wall from her friends, staring dejectedly out the glass at the passing countryside. Carrot Top noticed her and sat next to her.

"Why the long face, sugarcube?" She asked. Luna sighed.

"I'm just thinking about Doctor Whooves. Ever since I moved to Ponyville, we've been seeing each other less and less. And now that he's starting a new family with this Ditzy Haz Pezu-whatshername, we'll probably never see each other!" She rested her chin on her hooves and glared out the window. Carrot Top laid a hoof on her shoulders. "Come on now, you're his best friend! Practically his sister! He'll always have time for you!"

Luna ignited her magic and yanked the shade down crossly. "He didn't seem to have the time to tell me he was getting married!"

The train rumbled on. As they approached Canterlot, Luna noticed a glowing pink forcefield surrounding the entire city. The train slowed as they approached, and two gold-armored guards crossed their spears to prevent passage.

"Just a quick stop," The conductor explained, "Just to make sure we're not carrying any riffraff.

Lyra glanced out the window and saw two ponies arguing with one of the guards. She shivered. One of them was pure white with a black tailored suit and red tie. Classy enough, there were little details about him that marked him as an oddity. His legs were abnormally long, so he towered several heads taller than the guards. His Cutie Mark was a red circle with an X through it. Then, he turned to look at the train, and Lyra's heart almost stopped. The stallion had no face. No eyes, no mouth, no nose, just white fur. She could feel his nonexistent gaze locked on her, but the pony next to him poked him in the leg, and he looked back to the guards. Lyra chose to focus on the other pony. He wasn't much better. He wore a blue shirt, and he had tan fur, with a neatly cut shock of brown mane, but his eyes were dead white—no pupils, no irises, no nothing. Lyra shivered again. This must have been some of the 'riffraff' the conductor had mentioned.

The train rumbled on. They passed through the barrier, and Luna felt the magic ripple over her like a wave of water. The train hissed to a stop at the station, and Luna noticed four more guards above the roof, and a dozen or so guards on the platform.

"Whoah!" Said Spitfire, sticking her head out the door. "What's with all the guards?"

"I'm sure they're just taking the necessary precautions," Said Octavia. "Royal weddings do bring out the strangest ponies."

Lyra decided not to tell her friends about the two ponies she had seen arguing with the guards.

"Ah-ah-ahhhh—CHOO!" Vinyl Scratch sneezed, and confetti flew out of her nose. The DJ hardly seemed to notice, and trotted on.

"Let's get going!" Exclaimed Octavia. "We've got work to do!"

"And you've got a brother to go congratulate!" Carrot Top added to Luna.

"Yeah, Luna mumbled. "Congratulate. And then give him a piece of my mind!"

She stomped between two guards, who hastily saluted the Princess. Her friends looked at each other worriedly.

At one of the towers of the castle, a tall, graceful snowy-white alicorn with a slightly unkempt dark red mane was looking through a telescope, ever watchful for danger. On the ground, Luna marched straight past the guards towards a brown earth pony who was saluting several other members of the guard atop a rampart.

"I've got something to say to you, mister!" Luna yelled.

The guards pointed their spears at the Princess, ready to defend, but once the brown pony saw her, he took off his helmet and yelled,

"Luna!"

The guards stood at ease as Doctor Whooves dashed down the stairs to greet the alicorn.

"I've missed you so much! How was the train ride? I—"

"How _dare_ you not tell me in person that you were getting married?!" She yelled.

"I'm your sister for ponies sake!"

The Doctor looked slightly taken aback, but he said,

"It's not my fault! Princess Faust had requested a major increase in security. Didn't you see all the guards at the train station?"

"Yeah," Huffed Luna, "There's a big wedding coming up. Maybe you heard about it?"

She stomped off. The Doctor trotted to catch up to her.

"It has nothing to do with the wedding! A threat has been made against Canterlot! We don't know who's responsible for it, but Princess Faust asked me to help provide protection."

At that moment, the pink force field rippled with the magic flowing through it. Luna noticed the Doctor's shield emblem on his armor glowed pink. As the glow faded, the Doctor rubbed his head and winced.

"The burden of keeping Canterlot safe rests squarely on my shoulders."

The two ponies trotted up a flight of stairs and past even more guards.

"Staying focused on the task at hand is my top priority." Said the Doctor, sighing.

"Okay, okay, I get it."

Luna mumbled, watching a group of guards patrol the grounds below.

"You've got a job protecting Canterlot with a force field only you can conjure up. But still…"

Her ears drooped. "How could you not tell me about something as big as your wedding? Am I not that important to you anymore?"

The Doctor placed a hoof on Luna's shoulder. "Hey, you're my big sister. Of course you're important to me. But…" He straightened, staring out at the guards, looking at Luna out of the corner of his eye.

"I'd understand if you didn't want to be my best mare now…"

Luna's eyes widened. "You want _me _to be your best mare?!"

"Well," Said the Doctor, "Yeah!"

Luna bowed. "I'd be honored!"

The Princess hugged him, then held him at hoofs length.

"But I still can't believe you're marrying somepony I don't even know! When did you meet this _Ditzy Haz Pezuñas_?"

"Luna," Said the Doctor patiently, "Ditzy Haz Pezuñas…is Derpy!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I hope you enjoy this chapter! It was challenging because every time I write Ditzy Haz Pezuñas, it changes the default language on Word to Spanish, so I have to change it back _**

"But I still can't believe you're marrying somepony I don't even know! When did you meet this _Ditzy Haz Pezuñas_?"

"Luna," Said the Doctor patiently, "Ditzy Haz Pezuñas…is Derpy!"

Luna's mouth fell open.

"Derpy? As in, _the _Derpy? As in the greatest muffin maker in all the history of muffin makers?!"

The Doctor laughed. "You tell me! She was your muffin maker!"

Luna put her hooves on the rail, as if trying to see the gray pegasus in the crowd below.

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh! Derpy is only the most amazing pony ever! She's beautiful, she's caring, she's kind… and how many pegasi can spread cheerfulness and love wherever they go? "

She flashed a huge grin at the Doctor. "I only know of one, and you're marrying her!"

The alicorn proceeded to bounce in a circle around the Doctor, chanting,

"You're marrying Derpy, you're marrying Derpy!"

The Princess skidded to a halt, almost crashing into a gray Pegasus with an unkempt blond mane. She sighed in exasperation.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important!"

"Derpy! Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake, clap your hooves and do a little shake!" Exclaimed Luna, bouncing up to her and chanting an old nursery rhyme.

Derpy stared at her blankly. "What are you doing?"

"Derpy, it's me! Luna!" Said the alicorn.

Derpy blinked, then walked straight past the Princess. "Uh-huh."

Luna grinned, though she was a little hurt at the pegasus' attitude towards her. Derpy pressed against the Doctor,

"I've gotta get back to my station." Said the Doctor. "But Derpy will be checking in with all of you to see how things are going. I think I speak for both of us when I say that we couldn't be more excited to have you here. Right, dear?"

Derpy glared at Luna with a look that made the Princess uncomfortable.

"Absolutely." She said.

"Well," Said Doctor Whooves, "Let's get to it!"

The couple walked off, leaving a dejected Luna alone on the walkway.

Fifteen minutes later, Luna was sitting with her hooves crossed in the kitchen, levitating a checklist with her magic as Carrot Top dashed past, holding a tube of icing in her mouth. The earth pony put the finishing touches on a wedding cake that was five layers high, and required Carrot Top to stand on a ladder to reach the top.

"Cake, check!" She said. Luna crossed it off the list, still sulking. Carrot Top dashed past again holding an ice pick, and chipped off a few rough edges of an ice sculpture shaped like a heart.

"Ice sculpture, check." She said. Luna crossed it off the list, as the earth pony rushed past again. She pulled a tray out the oven filled with small pastries.

"Best darn bite-sized apple fritter you ever tasted,"

She stuffed one in Luna's mouth. The Princess had to admit they tasted delicious.

"Mmm! Check!" She said, crossing it off the list.

The door banged open. Derpy strode in as the cooks bowed.

"Hiya, Derpy!" Said Carrot Top.

"Please," Announced the bride-to-be, "Call me _Ditzy Haz Pezuñas." _Luna rolled her eyes.

_ "_Hiya, Ditzy Haz Pezuñas!" Carrot Top replied cheerfully, still bowing. Luna noted the bored look on Derpy's face, but as soon as Carrot Top straightened to look her in the eye, it morphed into a cheerful smile.

"You come to check out what's on the menu for your big day?" Asked the earth pony.

"I have!" Said Derpy brightly, but as soon as Carrot Top turned her back, the pegasus's head sagged as though she couldn't wait to get out of there. Luna's gaze followed her in annoyance. Carrot Top held up a tray of bite-sized pastries. The amulet on Derpy's necklace glowed green, and one of the cakes became surrounded by green magic. The bride-to-be took a bite out of it. After swallowing, she said without much enthusiasm,

"Uh, delicious! I love, love, love them!"

Luna scowled.

"Aw shucks," Said Carrot Top, holding up a paper bag. "Why don't you try to take a few to go?"

Derpy tried to politely refuse, but the grin on Carrot Top's face told her the earth pony wasn't going to take no for an answer. The Pegasus reluctantly took the bag in her mouth and turned to leave, Carrot Top saying behind her,

"I know how you brides can be, so busy you forget to get a little somethin' in your belly."

Luna glared after her. Just as Derpy was about to walk out the door, she tossed the bag into the trash can. The Princess gasped as the doors slammed shut.

"Did you see what she—" Began Luna, but Carrot Top resumed bustling about the kitchen, oblivious to the insult to her cooking.

"Oh, you should have seen how she acted back there!" Luna fumed, pacing the room where Octavia was sewing.

"I don't know when she changed, but she changed!" The Princess imitated Derpy.

"'Please, call me Ditzy Haz Pezuñas!'"

"Did I hear someone say my name?" Came a new voice.

Derpy was approaching, flanked by her three bridesmaids, unicorns named Merry Weather, Amethyst Star, and Colgate.

Octavia dashed up to the Pegasus.

"Ma'am! Let me just start by saying what an honor it is to play a role in such a momentous occasion!" She bowed nervously.

Derpy had a bored look on her face. "Uh-huh. Is my dress ready?"

"Oh!" Yelped Octavia, flustered. "U-Uh, yes, of course!"

She led the Pegasus over to a mannequin that had a white gown with a snowy neckpiece of the same color.

"I've been working on it ever since I was given this assignment, and I think you'll be pleased with the results!" Said Octavia proudly.

Derpy inspected the dress critically. "I was hoping for something with more decoration and a longer train." She said.

"Oh, yes! Of course!" Said Octavia scribbling on a notepad.

"And those should be a different color," Derpy continued, gesturing at the bridesmaids dresses.

"I think they're lovely!" Piped up Merry Weather.

"Me too!" Chimed in Colgate.

"I love them!" Added Amethyst Star.

The three ponies cringed as Derpy glared at them. "Make them a different color, she ordered, and marched out with the bridesmaids in tow.

"Gee," Grumbled Luna, "Maybe her name should be Miss Demandypants."

"Okay, let's see," Said Vinyl Scratch, popping up behind Derpy. The two were standing in the middle of an enormous room, where the reception was going to take place. The walls and windows were festooned with multicolored balloons, streamers and confetti.

"We've got the game," Continued the DJ, rolling the dice on a board game next to a piñata shaped like a flower and one of those 'pin the tail on the pony' posters.

"The dancing," She went on, bouncing past Derpy. The unicorn cranked up the tunes and did a dance that looked like the Gangnam Style.

"I think this reception is going to be perfect, don't you?!" She said, grinning at Derpy.

The Pegasus smiled. "Perfect!" Her face morphed into a scowl. "If we were celebrating a six-year-old's birthday party!"

The grin didn't leave Vinyl's face. "Really?! All right!"

The bride stalked off without another word.

Behind a pillar, Luna had seen the whole exchange.

That night, a hole opened in the force field to allow a pink alicorn with a multi-colored mane through. She flew over to one of the many towers and landed next to the Princess.

"Rest, Your Highness," She murmured. "I shall guard the night."

Princess Faust gratefully allowed the other alicorn to take her post watching for danger.

In the courtyard, Luna and her five friends sat at a table, enjoying a much-needed reprise from the busy day.

"I bet I can guess what you're all thinking!" Luna announced as she set her glass of Coke on the table.

"Derpy is the absolute worst bride-to-be ever!"

Her friends looked at her in shock.

"Luna, whatever are you talking about?" Asked Octavia. "Derpy is an absolute gem!"

The Princess took a sip of her drink before replying.

"Octavia, she was so demanding!" Exclaimed Luna, quite taken aback.

Octavia seemed nonplussed. "Well of course she was! Why shouldn't she expect the very best on her wedding day?"

Luna facehoofed. "Carrot Top, did you notice how after she 'Love, love, loved' your cupcakes, she threw them in the trash?!" She was sure that would strike a nerve. Carrot Top only smiled.

"Aw, she was prob'ly tryin' to spare my feelin's"

"No," Said Luna, exasperated, "She was just being fake, and totally insincere!"

Her friends glanced at each other, wondering what had gotten into Luna.

"She did raise her voice at one of my birds during rehearsal," Lyra piped up.

"SEE?" Cried Luna. "Rude!" She crossed her hooves smugly.

"But, he was singing really off-key," Continued Lyra. She brought the bird out from under the table. The little red-and-white bird opened its beak and choked out a sound like a rusty door that had been left out in the desert for like a million years. It was so raucous that the five ponies to clap their hooves over their ears.

"Vinyl Scratch," Said Luna, you had to have noticed how Derpy—" She cut off, because Vinyl wasn't listening. She and Spitfire were holding the little plastic figurines of the bride and groom that were supposed to go on the cake and were pretending to make them kiss.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Never mind," She muttered.

"Spitfire, you're with me, right?"

The captain of the Wonderbolts was flexing her biceps and feeling the muscles.

"Sorry Luna," She said, extending her wings. "I've been too busy prepping for my Sonic Flameboom to notice the bride's 'bad attitude.'"

Luna took a sip of Coke.

"GAH!" She yelled. Octavia placed a hoof on her shoulder.

"Derpy's about to get married! I'm sure and negative behavior she's been displaying is simply the result of nerves"

Luna slammed a hoof down on the table, causing the drinks to wobble.

"And I'm sure it's the result of her being an awful pony who doesn't deserve to even know Doctor Whooves, let alone marry him!"

She glared at the ponies, daring them to object.

"Think maybe you're bein' just a tiny bit possessive of your brother?" Asked Carrot Top.

"Uh-huh," Said her friends.

"I am not being possessive!" Luna defended herself. "And I am not taking it out on Derpy! You guys are all just too caught up in your wedding plans to notice that maybe there shouldn't even BE a wedding!"

She slammed a hoof on the table so hard that everypony's drinks toppled over. Then, with a swirl of her name, the Princess stalked off in a huff. Her friends looked at each other worriedly.

Later on, Doctor was adjusting his green tie when a knock on the door sounded. He opened the door to a dejected Luna.

"Luna!" He exclaimed, stepping back to allow the alicorn in.

"Your big brother's looking pretty good, don't you think?" Asked the Doctor. Luna glanced at his attire. It wasn't much, just a white collar with a green tie. The stallion noticed her gloomy expression.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

Luna straightened. "We need to talk," She said firmly. "I think you're making a big—"

"A—HEM," Came a new voice. Luna looked over to see Derpy standing at the top of the stairs.

"Oh, uh, hi sweetie!" Said the Doctor as the Pegasus descended the stairs.

_She sure has a way of sneaking up on people, _Thought Luna in annoyance.

"Could I speak to you for a moment, dear." Said Derpy. It wasn't a question. The Pegasus stalked off. The Doctor nudged Luna.

"Better go see what she wants." He said. Luna gritted her teeth as her brother followed his bride into a room. The door slammed behind them. Luna could hear them apparently having a heated conversation behind the door.

"…Just listen to me," Ordered Derpy.

"I am listening!" Protested the Doctor.

Luna sneaked up to the door and opened it a crack.

"I thought I made it perfectly clear I _didn't _want you to wear that!" Derpy was saying.

"This was my favorite uncle's," The Doctor said wistfully.

"And?" Said Derpy, not sounding convinced.

"And, I think I could wear it," Said the Doctor calmly.

"Are you _disagreeing_ with me?" Demanded Derpy.

"I guess I am—gah!" Exclaimed the stallion.

"Oh dear," Soothed Derpy, "Are you getting another one of your headaches?"

The amulet about her neck glowed green. As the Doctor sank to the floor, a stream of magic burst from the gem, hitting the Doctor square in the forehead and causing his eyes to roll back in his head.

Luna's mouth opened in shock.

"Feeling better?" asked Derpy. Doctor Whooves staggered to his feet, and nodded unsteadily.

_She isn't just unpleasant and rude, _Thought Luna, _She's downright evil!_

The Princess dashed out the door as the couple exited the room.

"Luna!" Exclaimed the Doctor as the Princess ran outside.

"Let her go," Said Derpy, laying her head on her love's shoulder.

"Huh," Said the Doctor, "It seemed like she has something else she wanted to tell me…"

As Luna dashed towards the wedding hall, the alicorn watcher called a challenge.

"Who goes there?"

Then she noticed who it was.

"Stay indoors, Princess Luna. Your night can be dangerous."

She burst into Derpy's suite, and gasped,

"Doctor Whooves is in real trouble! You have to help—"

She stopped short as she noticed her friends. The five ponies were chatting in the center of the room, outfitted in dresses to match the styles of each pony.

"Dresses?" Exclaimed a flabbergasted Luna. "What are you—"

"Can you believe it?" Squealed Lyra, dashing up to the alicorn. "We're going to be Ditzy Haz Pezuñas's new bridesmaids!"

"NEW bridesmaids?" Cried Luna. "What happened to her old bridesmaids?"

"She didn't say," Said Carrot top, "But she did say that she would love, love, love it if we would fill in for them!"

"Seeing as we've been working so hard and everything," Added Octavia.

"And you had your doubts about her!" Said Carrot Top.

"Told you she was an absolute gem!" Octavia said.

"Are you sure this is what I should wear?" Asked Spitefire, kicking the fabric of her flame-colored dress.

"Doesn't seem all that aerodynamic…"

"I'll see what I can do!" Octavia said cheerfully.

"This is so exciting!" Said Carrot Top.

Luna turned and left, feeling even more miserable than before.

"Looks like I really am on my own…" She mumbled.

Later on that evening, Princess Faust and the Doctor stood as the head of the wedding hall, watching Octavia, Spitfire, Vinyl Scratch, Carrot Top and Lyra walk down the aisle.

"Perfect girls," Said the Princess. "No need to rush! Then of course, Derpy will enter."

The two unicorn guards ignited their horns and opened the big double doors to reveal Derpy on the other side. The Doctor smiled as the Pegasus walked calmly down the aisle.

"I'll say a few words," Continued Faust, "And then we'll begin with the vows. Doctor Whooves, you'll get the ring from your best mare."

The Doctor turned to where Luna should have been standing, but there was nopony there.

"Hey, has anypony seen Luna?" Asked the stallion. Just then, the doors banged open, alight with blue magic.

"I'm here!" Yelled Luna. "I'm not going to stand next to her! And neither should you!"

The Doctor bit his lip, then turned to Derpy.

"I-I'm sorry," He said sheepishly. "I don't know why she's acting like this!"

"Maybe we should just ignore her." Said Derpy in exasperation.

"You have to listen to me!" Luna yelled.

"Oh goodness!" Exclaimed Lyra. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Snapped Luna.

"You sure about that?" Asked Carrot Top.

Luna ignored her friend. "I've got something to say!"

She pointed an accusing hoof at Derpy.

"She's evil!"

The Doctor stepped protectively in front of his bride as the five ponies and the two guards started chattering.

"She's been horrible to my friends," Luna continued. She teleported behind Derpy.

"She's obviously done something to her bridesmaids," Luna advanced on the bride, causing her to back up onto one of the columns that lined the hall.

"And if that wasn't enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all—" Luna rolled her eyes in an impression of the Doctor.

The bridesmaids, the Doctor and the Princess stared at her in shock. Luna thrust her face up to Derpy's as the bride started to relax.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Sobbed Derpy, pushing past Luna and racing out of the hall.

"Because you're evil!" Luna called after her, teleporting to the doorway.

"Evil! And if I don't stop you, you're going to ruin my brother's life!"

Spitfire and Octavia glanced at each other in horror.

Luna turned to march triumphantly back—and smacked straight into Doctor Whooves.

"Do you want to know why my eyes went like that?" Demanded the Doctor, enraged. "Because ever since I've started performing my protection spell, I've been getting terrible migraines!" He stalked in a circle around Luna. "Derpy hasn't been casting spells on me, she's been using her magic to heal me!"

Luna started to say something, but the Doctor cut her off.

"And she decided to replace her bridesmaids because she found out the only reason they wanted to be in the wedding was so they could meet Canterlot royalty!"

He stamped a hoof.

"And if she hasn't been on her best behavior with your friends, is because of me being so busy, she's had to make all the decisions about the wedding!"

"I was just trying to—" Began Luna, but the Doctor was on a roll.

"She's really stresses out because it's important that our big day be perfect!"

He shoved his face close to Luna's.

"Something that obviously wasn't important to you!"

He stalked off.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and comfort my bride! And you can forget about being my best mare!"

He halted. "In fact, if I were you…I wouldn't show up to the wedding at all."

He marched out, and Luna sat down on the floor, feeling miserable.

"Some on, y'all." Said Carrot Top. "Let's go check on the bride."

The five of them walked straight past Luna, not paying her any attention.

"I-I was—" Began Luna as Princess Faust walked by, but the white alicorn only said sternly,

"I have a lot to think about."

Luna watch with tears in her eyes as the doors slammed shut. Then, she turned and walked slowly towards the end of the hall.

_Maybe I was being overprotective…_

She collapsed on the stairs leading up to where the bride and groom would stand.

_I could have gained a sister…but instead…I've just lost a brother!_

_ He was my Big Brother Best Friend…but now we'll never do anything together…_

Luna wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. She didn't know how long she sat there, but after a while, a set of hoofbeats brought her out of her misery. She looked up to see Derpy's kindly face look down on her as the Pegasus placed a hoof on Luna's mane.

"I'm sorry!" Sobbed Luna.

Derpy's face remained calm for a moment longer. Then, under the gold of her eyes, green flashed. Her expression contorted into a scowl

"You will be," She snarled.

Luna's eyes widened as the amulet around her neck glowed a sulfurous green. Luna recoiled as green flames burst from the floor, encircling the Princess.

Derpy smiled evilly, green flashing in her eyes once again as the flames engulfed Luna, burning a hole in the floor and taking her with them as they slowly sank into the ground.

The bride-to-be turned and walked away, casting a single backward glance at the disposal of the Princess.


	4. Chapter 4: Escapees Don't Run, They Fly

The cave was—well, a cave. Dark, musty, full of rock. This particular cave hadn't been touched in years, but now, a small magical fireball lit the gloom. It reflected off the millions of mirror-like crystals that were sticking out of the walls.

"Hello?" Whimpered Princess Luna. The cave was reminding her too much of her thousand years of banishment on the moon, and she was teetering on the brink of panic.

"Where am I?" She asked, backing up to a crystal wall. She wished she could teleport out using her horn, but magic didn't work that way. If she couldn't see an exit—or at least know where an exit was—she couldn't warp out. She had never been here before, so her powers of teleportation were useless.

She gasped in shock as Derpy's reflection appeared in the crystals, soured by green light.

"The caves beneath Canterlot!" Spat the Pegasus. "Once home to greedy unicorns who wanted to claim the gems that could be found inside."

The reflection vanished, and reappeared in another gem as Luna staggered away from the hideous sight.

"And now," Said Ditzy, her voice dripping with malice, "your prison!"

"Help!" Wailed Luna. "Help!" She dashed away from the reflection.

"Ahahaha!" Ditzy cackled, sending shivers up the alicorn's spine.

"It's no use, no one can hear you!"

Ditzy's image flickered to another crystal, still shrouded in sulfuric green light.

"And no one will ever think to look for you here, either!"

Luna scrunched down to the floor, as the reflection shifted again.

"Most ponies have forgotten that these caves even exist," Continued the Pegasus, her image shifting from gem to gem as she lectured.

"…which is why they're the ideal place to keep those who try to interfere with my plans! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Luna shuddered as that awful laughter rebounded off the stone walls.

"Plans?" she whimpered. "What plans?"

For a moment, Ditzy looked offended at the Princess's ignorance.

"Why, the plans I have for your brother, of course!"

That hit Luna hard. The magic fireball strengthened, sparks flying off of it.

"Don't you dare do anything to my brother, you—you _monster!" _She shouted.

Ditzy smiled sweetly. "Only way to stop me is to catch me!"

With another bout of laughter, her image vanished just as Luna's magic smashed into the crystal where she had been, leaving only the Princess's reflection. The alicorn looked around wildly, spotting the Pegasus in another crystal on the far wall.

"Over here!" Ditzy taunted.

Luna shot a bolt of blue fire as the crystal, but the reflection of the bride-to-be simply vanished. Her laughter rebounded through the cavern, as the magic ricocheted off the walls, bouncing about several times, before hitting the floor, narrowly missing incinerating the Princess. Ditzy's reflection appeared in a walls of crystals, making the Princess feel as though she were surrounded by phantoms.

"Over here!" She screeched in laughter, as Luna covered her head with her hooves.

Something snapped inside Luna. She was a Princess of Equestria. This darkness, this was her home turf. She was not about to be subdued by a reflection of a pony with crossed eyes.

Magic smashed into the reflection, but it just moved to another crystal, Ditzy's laughter ringing through the caves. Luna blasted stone after stone, narrowly missing the bride each time. Finally, the reflection vanished, Luna's magic blowing a hole in the wall. On the other side sat…

_Ditzy!_

Luna's gaze sparked in fury. The gray Pegasus looked up in shock, as Luna tensed her legs muscles, preparing to spring.

"No!" She yelped, scrabbling backwards. "Wait—"

WHAM!

Luna smashed into the smaller pony, sending the two rolling across the floor. Luna was first up, and she stood over Ditzy, horn blazing.

"Please!" Begged the Pegasus, covering her face with her hooves. "Don't hurt me!"

Then she noticed who it was. She relaxed slightly.

"Luna, it's me!"

The alicorn gave Ditzy her best Princess glare, unconvinced.

"Please, you have to believe me!" Persisted the Pegasus. "I've been imprisoned like you! The Derpy who brought you down here was an imposter!"

"Likely story!" Spat Luna. Then she frowned, as Derpy began chanting,

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves, and do a little shake!"

The Pegasus smiled wearily at Luna.

"You remember me!" Cried the night Princess, flinging herself into the gray pony's hooves.

"Of course I do," Murmured Derpy, hugging Luna tightly. "How could I forget the pony I loved to care for the most?"

Ditzy's laughter echoed through the caves again. Far away in the darkness, a light sparkled, like a tiny lighthouse within a dense fog. Derpy's keen eyes caught the glint, and a sense of resolve flooded through her.

"We have to get out of here," Said Luna. "We have to stop her!"

Together, the two lifelong friends cantered through the darkness, searching for a way to save Derpy's love, as Ditzy's laughter, ecstatic at her victory, rang through the caves.

* * *

Far above the fleeing pair, the magical barriers surrounding Canterlot shimmered, as a gray Pegasus donned her bridal gown. She strolled up to the mirror to admire herself.

"This day is going to be perfect…"She said to nopony in particular, a sneer crossing her face. "The kind of day of which I'd dreamed since I was small…"

She twirled around, watching her snowy dress billow out around her.

"Everypony will gather around, and say I look lovely in my gown…" She said aloud. For a moment, a cloud passed over Celestia's sun, and the room dimmed. In the moment of darkness, Ditzy's eyes glowed, sulfurous green, with pupils that were slit, like a feline's.

"What they don't know is that I have fooled them all!"

* * *

Far below, in the caves beneath the castle, the real Derpy slumped to the ground in exhaustion. She stared at her reflection in the crystal wall, her gaze clouded with exhaustion.

"This day was going to be perfect…" She gasped, as Luna urged the Pegasus to her feet. "The kind of day of which I'd dreams since I was small…"

Luna's heart felt heavy with grief at the sight of her friend.

"But instead of having cake, with all my friends to celebrate, my wedding bells may never ring for me at all…"

* * *

Ditzy paced about the room, giddy with excitement and impatient for the ever-shrinking amount of time before her big day to pass.

"I could care less about the dress, I won't partake in any cake,"

Her back hoof smashed into a table sending it flying, and scattering the basket of apples.

"Vows, well I'll be lying when I say…"

The bride-to-be sidled up to a mannequin left over from Octavia's sewing earlier. Ditzy traced a hoof along the jawline of the foam pony, imagining all the fun things she and the Doctor would get to do once they were married.

"'That through any kind of weather, I'll want us to be together,'" She quoted, "The truth is I don't care for him at all!"

She grabbed the hat from the pony's head, and threw it up into the air. As it came down, the bride-to-be planted a hoof on it.

"Do, I do not love the groom," She cried, her voice rising in ecstasy at her coming victory.

"In my heart, there is no room, but I still want him to be all _mine_!"

* * *

Derpy and Luna raced through the tunnels and caves under the ancient city of Canterlot.

"We must escape before it's too late, find a way to save the day," Derpy panted, looking around wildly for an exit.

"Hope, I'll be lying if I say!" Luna urged the gray Pegasus onward, as the lost bride lamented.

"I fear that I may lose him to one who wants to use him, nor care for love and cherish him each day!"

Finally, Luna spotted what they needed. An old mine cart, its wheels blocked by stones sat at the edge of a track that wound away into the darkness, leftover from miners of ages past.

Derpy bolted for the cart, throwing her body against it. The wheels ground against the stones, but the cart didn't budge.

"For I oh so love the groom, all my thoughts he does consume," She wailed, tears streaming down her face at the hopelessness of her situation.

Luna was taken aback slightly by the bride's dedication to her fiancé. Her horn glowed with blue magic, lifting the rocks out of the way and depositing Derpy in the cart.

"Oh, my dear Doctor, I'll soon be by your side!"

Luna pushed with all her might on the cart, sending the remaining rocks scattering and the cart skittered down the tracks. Luna clambered in beside Derpy as the cart shot into the darkness.

Of course, their luck wasn't going to last. The vehicle smashed into the end of the tracks, ejecting the two from it and sending them flying across the cavern. Derpy squeezed her eyes shut, sure they were going to be smashed to pieces on the rocky floor, but nothing happened.

The bride-to-be opened her eyes, and gasped. With a rush of feathers, the alicorn spread her wings, and the two glided through the cavern, Derpy clinging onto Luna's flank for dear life.

* * *

With a blast of trumpets, the massive double doors swung open, and Ditzy Haz Pezuñas glided down the aisle. On the outside, she was the model of a calm, smiling bride.

_Finally, the moment has arrived, _she thought gleefully, stepping daintily across the flower petals tossed back by the three flower fillies.

_For me to be one lucky bride…_

Far below, Luna and Derpy landed on a ledge in a jumble of hooves, wings and gray and purple fur.

Derpy was first up. She stared frantically at the solid crystal wall in front of them

"Oh, the wedding we won't make, he'll end up marrying a fake…"

Her voice rose an octave in pure terror and frustration

"My dear Doctor will be…!"

Above them, Ditzy smiled sweetly at Princess Faust, taking her place at the side of Doctor Whooves.

_Mine, all mine!_

* * *

"Mares and gentlecolts," Said Princess Faust, scanning the crowd of ponies.

"We are gathered here today to witness the union of Ditzy Haz Pezuñas, and Doctor Whooves…"

* * *

Far below, Derpy buried her face into the rock wall.

"Oh, we're never going to save him!" She wailed. Luna scanned the cave, searching for a way out.

"We will! We just have to find—"

Just then, her keen eyes caught a glint of sunlight far above them.

"There!" She cried.

A heartbeat later, the two materialized on the ledge in a flash of blue light. Derpy started forwards, but Luna held her back and saved the Pegasus's life.

In front of them, the three bridesmaids, Colgate, Merry Weather, and Amethyst Star, advanced on them, their eyes alight with sulfurous green light. When they spoke, their voice was a monotone, sending shivers up the two escapees' spines.

_"You're not going anywhere!"_

* * *

"Ditzy Haz, and Doctor Whooves, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you—" Began the red-maned Princess

"_STOP!" _Came an unmistakable royal Canterlot voice. The crowd gasped and murmured as Princess Luna stood in the doorway, her blue eyes piercing the hall.

The five bridesmaids sighed in exasperation. Octavia put a hoof on her forehead. Spitfire frowned at the floor.

Ditzy growled and stamped a hoof.

"Why does she have to be so protective of her brother?!"

Princess Faust stared at her.

Ditzy regained her composure, and flung a hoof over her face.

"Why does she have to ruin my special day?" She sobbed.

"Because," Spat a new voice, "It's not your special day—"

In the doorway stood a bedraggled, exhausted, but very much alive Derpy.

"It's mine!" She shouted.

The crowd gave a collective gasp of astonishment.

"_What?_" Screeched Ditzy. "But how did you escape my bridesmaids?!"

Luna and Derpy glanced at each other.

* * *

In the caves beneath the royal city, the two ponies backed up to the edge of the rocky ledge, as the three zombie bridesmaids advanced on them.

The situation seemed hopeless, but Luna had an idea. Using her magic, she conjured a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere, and waved it under the bridesmaids' noses. Their heads followed its movement, the way a cat might if you dangle a toy in front of it.

Luna flung the flowers off to one side, and the three ponies launched themselves in pursuit, their dressed flying.

* * *

"Hmph, clever!" Snorted Ditzy. "But you're still too late!"

Carrot Top looked thoroughly confused.

"Ah don't understand! How can there be two of 'em?"

"She's a changeling!" Cried Luna, taking a step forward. "She takes the form of somepony you love, and gains power by feeding off your love for them!"

Ditzy's neck amulet blazed with green light, and her eyes sparked with sulfurous emerald color. A ring of green fire surrounded her, and blazed up towards the ceiling, engulfing the bride in fire and causing the nearby ponies to lean away from the bright light.

Luna could only watch in horror, as Ditzy's wings ripped away, her fur changing, as the bride-to-be morphed into a slimy, emaciated thing…


End file.
